And it's not about you but me.

Im selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, im out of control and at times hard to handle but if you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as HELL dont deserve me at my best.

A 'friend' of mine told me this,
" Do unto others as is done unto you ."

Im unpredictable, I know. Sometimes, i could just smile when you screamed at me and sometimes i could get pissed off with just a tiny lil joke. And most of the time, I get emo. Yeah, i am always emo. I think it's normal to be emo because im a human. And human have feelings. Im just bad at faking a smile nowadays. :D

And yeah, after quite a while since i last cried, today i cried again. I thought that i wont see any tears rolling down on my cheek for at least quite sometime but i guess im wrong. :( And to that person, whoever you are, thank you so much for the tears. I feel so down and depressed, emo and lonely. The only person i need to cheer me up now is *tooooootttttt*. Hahahaha but that person is currently not available which is so sad. :[

I miss someone telling me, " Dont get emo babe. Chill? " Hahaha... I kinda miss all my good friends back in Miri... If i could turn back time, there's a lot of things i wanna do from the past two semesters. There's a lot of things i've missed and I dont wanna repeat the same thing anymore in the future. I hope so but knowing me, I tend to REPEAT all my mistakes, get hurt and regret it in the end.

P/S: Im using 'your' baju now. I miss you so bad. :[














* Listening to Munajat Cinta now. :]


Xoxo,
NadEa.

When will it end?

Im back in Kuching and i thought being back to hometown would at least make me happier. But then it gets worst. I still feel the sorrow in me. I was looking forward for the 'talk' but then I guess there's no point of it. Whatever laaa. I just couldnt care less. -.-'






And and and I always wonder why when there is Hello, there is Goodbye as well? I just realised goodbyes always hurt no matter its the right thing to do or not. Right now, i just feel like being alone. Alone in my own world where no one could find me. And i dont wanna be committed. I just wanna mingle around. Wth? I dnt know what im writing. Just crap. I need someone to spill out everything. I've been keeping tonnes of shit to myself and i dont think i could take it anymore. :(
























Emo mode on. Sorrow. :(

I wonder why...

... it's so hard for me to put on a tough face and fake a smile nowadays. I wish i could spill it out to someone but then, it would be hard because no one knows what i've been through. Well, i decided to keep it to myself. So I guess, all i can do is just go with the flow and pretend that nothing happened. Whatever~~


I have exam tomorrow and im not even ready yet. I cant focus on my notes because of this stupid unstable emotions. Ugh!


Wish me goodluck!












Chow. :(

Some advice from a good friend. :)

Andy a.k.a Andreas Dyrman told me this:

" You have to bleed just to know you're alive." ( he quoted that)

AND

" Truth hurts when all the good lies messed up in the end."




:). I agree with you Andy. Thanks for the advice and somehow it cheers me up. :) Thanks a lot! Really appreciate that. Btw, I adore how this young man are good in writing and SUPER DUPER GOOD in English. You guys should read his blog and i bet you're gonna agree with me! Way to go dude. You're the man!

Unstable emotions.

I guess i've been repeating this word on my facebook status and twitter. And here it goes again.

"Sometimes, somethings are better remain unknown because truth hurts."

I dont wanna say much about it but yeah, 'something' happened today and it is seriously HURTING me like HELL! I am frustrated, dissapointed, speechless, numb, emo, and whatsoever shit. TO whom it may concern, I trusted you but then i didnt expect that you would interfere in my personal life. It's not that i'm angry. Instead, i'm glad that you actually care but there's a limit to it. But then again, im glad that u do cross the limit because at least there's a reason for me to spit out everything that i have been keeping it to myself for quite a period of time. You was supposed to cheer me up but you end up hurting me. It's okay. I repeat, sometimes, somethings are better remain unknown because truth hurts. (!.!)



Anyway, to Mathew Jose Kattikkaran:
May you rest in peace.
Im gonna miss you.
I love you dude! :(

Emotionally disturbed.

I am emotionally disturbed. Damn! I tried to put on a tough face and fake a smile but still it wouldnt work. :(

Let's go for a VACATION!

Guess what? Im going BALI on JUNE 2010! Ahaks. I know it is still long but im just too excited about it. The tickets are like fucking cheap because air asia is having free seat promotion! Hahaha. I just feel that i need or i have to go for a vacation to release my stress. Im goin with Aaron Lim. He's the one who booked the ticket anyway. And i drag along Tompoq and Sedut with me. :) Eventually Abby and Steve are going to but on a different date. Too bad we cant go together because im going during the exam week. Abby doesnt wanna take the risk so they booked the ticket after the exam. Michelle wants to go but there's sudden increase on the ticket price so I bet she cancelled her plan to go unless if there's cheap ticket again. And and and and I tried to drag Peechee and Andy to go as well. Hope they're going. Hehehe. Im so fucking excited okay. Abby and I kept on googling about Bali. Hahahahahahahaha. Just like what Andy wote on my wall in facebook, " Crowded beaches and endless bikinis". Hahahaha.. So cant wait to go! Naaaahh, enough said. I better stop or else i might gonna write the whole description of Bali in this post. Hahahahaha :p See you guys in BALI!!!! :)




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